The Problem with Freedom

Ask a human Alexa about Freedom

by Alexa Loftus 1 MINUTE READ

Dear Human Alexa,

I want to engage with my community, but how do I even connect to my next-door neighbor? I only see him once every three weeks when he’s throwing away a VERY large bag of trash at 3am.

Sincerely,
Neighbor to a Trash Man

Dear Neighbor to a Trash Man,

First off, you don’t call him that to his face, right? The hardest part of starting a conversation is the beginning. Here’s some suggested opening lines to get the ball rolling:

“Hey Gary! What’s in that bag?”
“Gare Bear! Just want to let you know I have NO BEEF with you or your bulky garbage, and I actually think you’re really cool.”
“Howdy Neighbor! Don’t worry, I can’t see a thing you’re doing, as it’s dark out and my eyes are closed. Go Dodgers!”

Ultimately, people want to feel seen. Except when they’re doing something illegal.

Love,
Human Alexa

Alexa Loftus is a staff writer for the show. She is from a small town in Southern Illinois, where her favorite store growing up was a video store slash tanning salon that was somehow circus themed.