The Problem with The Media

Please Attack Me Too!

by Anonymous Staff Member 2 MINUTES READ

Dear Media,

I fully support news publications taking Jon Stewart’s words out of context to generate American-made clickbait. But did you know Jon has writers who also say words that are ripe for twisting into misleading headlines? By ignoring these writers, the media is leaving clicks, and money, on the table.

For instance, writer Rob Christensen. This randomly chosen writer once tweeted: The Weeknd got a queer cousin named BiWeekly.

This is clickbait gold! Publications on the left can attack him for outing the Weeknd’s cousin or using the queer community for a cheap punchline. Publications on the right can accuse him of normalizing behavior that destroys the fabric of the American family.

He also tweeted: Not a lot of people know this but Toyota Rav 4 is short for Toyota Ravioli 4 cheeses.

Potential headlines for this tweet: JON STEWART WRITER APPROPRIATES ITALIAN CULTURE, or JON STEWART WRITER ALIENATES GLUTEN ALLERGIC AND LACTOSE INTOLERANT COMMUNITIES, or even JON STEWART WRITER IS DUMB.

All these and more could be yours! So, treasured journalists, beacons of truth, I call upon thee to drag these writers through the mud so they too might sell out comedy clubs across this great nation (or at least get a meeting with Spotify). Especially randomly selected writer Rob Christensen.

Sincerely,

Anonymous Staff Member

Rob Christensen is a stand-up comedian and Air Force veteran from Brooklyn, NY. He’s not angry, that’s just what his face looks like. You can follow Rob on Twitter and Instagram.